As a manager, you must respond compassionately and professionally when a death occurs within your organisation. Balancing human and company needs is the key to dealing with grief in the workplace. Showing that you care about your staff can help your employees recover and increase their long-term loyalty to your organisation.
Anticipating grief in the workplace
No two people—or organisations—grieve in the same way. A death may affect a small company very differently than a larger one. As a manager, you can anticipate and prepare for the unexpected by taking these steps:
Know your organisation's bereavement policies. Often, there are written policies and procedures to follow, and it is wise to have an idea of what they encompass, just as you keep up to date on other health and safety issues.
Remember that grief in the workplace may be very intense. Think about and plan how you would handle a wide range of responses, from shock and numbness to tears and emotional outbursts.
Become familiar with the grieving process. You and your staff may have a mixture of many feelings, including guilt, sadness, anxiety, numbness, anger, or relief that someone's suffering has ended. These feelings can change from day to day and will occur whether or not the death was expected. Remember that these feelings are a normal part of grief and that no two individuals grieve precisely the same way.
Consider your employees' relationships with their colleagues. The closer your employees feel to a colleague, the more intensely they are likely to respond to a tragedy involving that person. The death of a beloved receptionist may affect your office more than that of a chief executive who works in a distant part of the country. Your response to a loss may differ significantly from those who report to you. Remember that you may not be aware of colleagues' relationships with one another, and someone may grieve in silence.
Find out what resources are available. Most people who have suffered a loss need more support than their managers can provide. Your human resources (HR) department can tell you what resources your company offers so that you can provide information quickly (or use the resources yourself) when needed.
Be prepared to respond immediately. When someone on your staff dies or faces a crisis, it's essential to respond quickly. If you do nothing, you will appear insensitive to the concerns of your staff. You must find a way to support your employees without neglecting your responsibilities. If you aren't sure how to strike a balance, talk to other managers in your organisation about how they have handled loss and grief in the workplace. Or contact HR.
When an employee dies
Feelings of grief are natural when you lose someone you care for and value. Some people feel closer to their colleagues than they do to family members. Managing your team after a death requires flexibility and a sensitivity to emotions.
Let your staff know about the death immediately. Tell your employees face to face, individually or at a meeting. If you can't do this with everybody, try to tell key people one-on-one and in person, such as your supervisor and the employee's closest colleagues. Some employees may need to spend time together talking about their grief and may not be able to concentrate on work immediately after notification. Others may need to be alone for a while or find focusing on their tasks comfortable.
Get help with written communications. Discuss the situation with your manager and an HR representative before communicating to others or expressing sympathy in an online guestbook or on a social media site. You may also want to talk about how to notify customers or suppliers if that is an issue. If you send out a memo or an email message, check to see if it is appropriate before posting a copy on the company intranet site.
Give your staff time to attend the funeral if they want to do so. Attending a funeral or memorial service can help with the grieving process. Ask yourself how productive your team would be if they tried to work during such an emotional time or how missing the funeral might affect their feelings about you and the organisation. However, even people close to the employee may choose to stay at work. If your team is remote, you may want to organise an online gathering for your team to commemorate the person who has died.
Work with your manager to arrange coverage during the funeral. Ensuring everyone who wants to attend the funeral has the time off is essential. Talk to your manager about coverage. Perhaps other teams or temporary workers can help out. This allows all employees to attend the service if they wish to and keeps feelings of favouritism from developing.
Contact your employee's former managers. If the person who died used to work in other departments or divisions of your organisation, contact the employee's former managers. This will allow them to take any necessary steps to let their staff members grieve.
Officially express condolences to the employee's family. Many firms have a policy about sending official condolences to an employee's family, which should be done as quickly as possible. Make it a practice to send a personal card and flowers (unless the family has requested "no flowers" and has asked for a different kind of tribute). Ensure you do this for every employee so that you do not display favouritism. If you were a personal friend of the employee, you may want to make other gestures, but that decision is personal and not work-related.
Help your team express their sympathy as a group. Find out about the family's wishes regarding flowers or memorial contributions so that you can communicate these to staff members who might like to express their sympathy individually or as a group.
Be prepared to answer questions about online expressions of sympathy. Your team members may ask whether the family has created an online guestbook or other space where people may express their sympathy. For example, they may ask whether they post a message of compassion as a group or identify themselves as members of a team or organisation. Familiarise yourself with the family's wishes and any social media policies at your organisation that apply to the situation so you can respond promptly to such questions. Remember that some members of your team may feel more comfortable expressing their sympathy online than through a traditional sympathy card or note and that they may appreciate having options.
Helping your staff grieve
Feelings of grief don't end with an employee's funeral. You can help your team adjust to life without their colleague in the days and weeks after a death.
Acknowledge the feelings of your staff. Let people know that you share their sense of loss. Acting as though nothing has changed might make it appear that you didn't care about the person who died or may keep your staff members from coming to you with problems related to the death.
Expect symptoms of grief. After a death, your employees may make more mistakes, become irritable, or have trouble sleeping, eating, or concentrating. These symptoms usually pass as the grief becomes less acute. Depending on their circumstances, some employees will be more strongly affected, so be prepared to suggest helpful resources to employees with more trouble coping.
Remember that coping with grief takes time. A manager's first instinct is often to try to fix a problematic or painful situation, but there are no quick fixes to grief. It may take your team weeks or months to fully adjust to the loss. Try to be thoughtful about painful anniversaries, such as the day an employee dies. These kinds of anniversaries may trigger strong emotions. Just because a certain amount of time has passed doesn't mean employees have finished grieving.
Understand that the death may affect how your staff performs. Keep your expectations realistic—you may see a lower level of productivity or motivation for a while—but don't assume the worst. A death or serious illness often leads employees to pull together as a team and can give everyone a new awareness of how much they value their job and their colleagues. If safety is a critical issue with your team's work, pay more attention to safety procedures.
Give your employees extra support if a death occurs in the workplace. A death that occurred at work—or lunch hour or a company function—is highly traumatic. In addition to having all the usual feelings of grief and sorrow, your employees may face additional emotional burdens. They may have witnessed a heart attack or feel guilty that they couldn't have prevented the death. Work with your HR representative to give them the support they need. Your team may need to work with a counsellor in this situation.
Help your team remember their colleague. Discuss trying one or more of the following ideas with your manager and HR:
Try to ease the transition for a new team member. Let the new person know that the team has had a recent loss and may need time to adjust to a change. If the new employee is filling the position of the former employee who passed away, ensure that those on the team know that while the role is being filled, that individual will never be replaced. Small measures like this can make it easier for your staff to adjust to the presence of a new employee.
When an employee suffers a loss
At some point, you may have to help a staff member who loses someone important—a parent, a spouse or partner, a child, another close relative, or a long-time friend. Here are some ways to help:
Show that you care. Try to respond immediately when an employee tells you that they have lost someone very close to them. If they have come into your office, close the door, stop what you were doing and ask them to sit down. Come out from behind your desk and sit next to them if possible. Actions like these show that you care and are willing to take the time to understand their needs. If you work remotely, schedule a video call with them.
Ask how you can help. After letting your employee know how sorry you are about their loss, ask how you can help. Ask them if they need to go home or log off. If they want to stay, don't force them to leave—many people find work a source of comfort and support in a crisis. Instead, find out if there's anything else you can do to help now or in the days ahead.
Listen to the employee. Find out what they want you to say about the death and to whom. Respect their wishes. If you'd like to email everyone in a group, inform the employee and ensure they have no objections.
Send condolences. Your team will take their cues from you when responding to a death. Make sure you do something to show your sympathy. Express your condolences in a call or note and send flowers from you and your staff or contribute to a particular charity, depending on the family's wishes. To be fair, do this for every one of your employees who experiences this type of loss. Doing nothing may make you—and your company—appear insensitive.
Try not to make assumptions. When talking to a bereaved employee, avoid phrases such as "I know just how you feel." Do not attempt to identify positive elements in the situation by using words like "This was probably for the best" or "You'll get over it in time." There may be many things about the death that you don't know. Instead of assuming that you understand how someone feels, offer a simple expression of sorrow, such as "I'm so sorry for your loss."
Keep the lines of communication open. A staff member who seems to be doing fine in the days just after a death may be too numb to feel the full effect of what happened and may develop problems later. Don't assume everything is okay because the person hasn't asked for time off or come to you with problems.
Watch for trouble signs. Grief can cause stress that affects job performance. Be alert for signs that an employee is having trouble sleeping or eating, which may include making mistakes, having problems concentrating, missing too much work, or neglecting their appearance. Let your staff members know about resources, such as your organisation's assistance programme that might be helpful.
Brainstorm accommodations. Depending on your workplace policy, there may be accommodations you can make for your employee, such as compassionate leave, flexible work hours, role change, or work reduction.
If a problem continues, discuss your concerns with the employee. In a firm but gentle way, let your employee know your concerns about their performance. Ask how you can help. If they have used all their paid leave, they may want to consider taking unpaid leave or transferring to a less stressful or part-time job. Talk about some options with your supervisor or HR, who may have other ideas on handling the situation.
Grief can pose a unique challenge for managers. There are no easy solutions when you lose a member of your team or when an employee loses a loved one. Listening to your staff members and acknowledging their loss will help you respond best for your team and your organisation.