Identifying and managing anxiety in children

We all experience some degree of anxiety when faced with stressful or frightening situations. Children are no exception. Apprehension prior to a new experience, such as a move or an exam, are emotions that should be addressed but do not usually raise red flags. Some fears are a normal part of a child’s development and should be no cause for serious concern.

Persistent and/or intense anxiety, however, can be debilitating and lead to other conditions. By learning about the signs, you can better understand when something is just a passing fear, and when a bout of anxiety signals a need for more serious attention.

Common childhood fears

Birth to 3 years. Sharp noises, strange animals or people, very large objects, and separation from family.

3 to 7 years. Fantasy fears such as ghosts, monsters, scary noises, and being alone in the dark. Natural disasters such as thunderstorms, floods, and earthquakes. New experiences, including starting school.

7 years and over. More realistic fears such as car accidents, death, illness, school and social problems, war, and natural disasters.

Tips to help your child relax

Try to remain calm yourself—fear and worry are usually manageable with a few simple strategies:

Encourage your child to talk about their feelings while remaining positive, comforting, and nonjudgmental.
Reassure your child that physical symptoms, such as occasional stomach aches, are not due to a serious illness. (Do seek medical attention for any severe, persistent, or worsening physical symptoms.)
Provide reassurance that you are there for support but allow your child quiet time when anxiety is high.
Avoid undue pressure to perform in school, sports, or other activities, which can contribute to high levels of stress and sap the joy from your child’s experience.
Develop an age-appropriate go-to strategy for your child to relax. This might be coloring, listening to music, doing a puzzle or playing with building blocks, deep breathing, stretching, etc.

Other helpful tips to help calm your child

Follow a regular bedtime routine to encourage good sleeping habits. Warm milk, soothing music, or sound effects can be calming.
Avoid caffeinated foods or beverages such as cola, coffee, or chocolate.
Encourage physical activity during the day, which is a great stress buster.

Signs of anxiety

Anxiety is a response of fear or worry which goes beyond what the situation calls for. When anxiety seems to be getting in the way of your child’s enjoyment of life or healthy development, it’s time to seek help.

Seek medical advice if any of the following become persistent in your child, or seriously worsen:

chronic worries about specific situations, people, noises, or objects
withdrawal
frequent crying or sadness
unusual irritability or displays of anger
difficulty sleeping or insomnia
headaches, stomachaches, or chest pain
shaking, dizziness, racing heart, or shallow breathing
sweating or flushing
decreased ability to function in everyday life

Helping a child with anxiety

Speak with your child's doctor. Describe to the doctor or pediatrician what you’ve noticed about your child's behavior that has caused you concern. Your doctor can perform an initial screening and determine appropriate next steps.

Find a mental health counselor. Look into finding a counselor or therapist for your child who is experienced with working with children. Visit the website of the American Psychological Association and search for qualified and accredited child therapists or ask your child’s pediatrician for a referral.

Learn about childhood anxiety. Ask your doctor or counselor for reputable resources on childhood anxiety. Visit the Anxiety Depression Association of America for more information on Anxiety in Children and Teens. Reach out to your organization’s assistance program for further support.