When was the last time you heard someone suggest that you need to relax more and enjoy life? Maybe you thought, "If they had my job and my personal responsibilities, they'd have no time for enjoyment either!"
Actually, you're not alone in feeling there aren't enough hours in the day—many adults not only have trouble finding time for pleasure, they have also lost touch with the meaning of it.
Recapturing simple pleasures
Most of us have a wish list of things we'd like to do; however, focusing on activities that are out of reach is often a way that we deny ourselves the possibility of enjoyment.
Being content comes from having our mind and senses totally engaged. It's this absorption—the living in the moment—that frees our minds of anxiety, restores energy, makes us more productive, and creative, and helps us feel more positive about ourselves and others.
Most activities can be fun. What turns ordinary activities into simple pleasures is the attitude and attentiveness we bring to them.
While simple enjoyments can certainly involve others, some of the most satisfying pleasures are those we can do alone—like taking a relaxing and soothing bath. At a time when people feel they have no control over so many things in their lives, solitary activities can give back some of that control in a healthy way.
Here's how to begin:
Think back to the things you enjoyed as a child. Was it playing in the garden and getting your hands dirty? Was it reading under the covers with a torch? Recalling some positive memory from your childhood can help reawaken your need to be content today.
Give yourself permission to enjoy, then build leisure time into your schedule the way you would plan for other activities. Though some may feel uncomfortable with this notion, taking time for yourself is essential to your wellbeing. Some people may think of it as selfish or foolish, or worry that others will judge them unfavourably. If you can't seem to allow yourself time for pleasure or are concerned about the way others will perceive your leisure activities, talk it over with them directly or consider discussing it with a counsellor.
Most free time comes in bits. Commuting to and from work may be an opportunity to listen to your favourite music. At work, consider turning a coffee or lunch break into a "joyful break." At home, perhaps you can set aside 30 minutes after dinner or before bedtime to do something enjoyable.
Avoid the "all or nothing" approach. Part of experiencing simple pleasures is appreciating the expression "one step at a time." For example, do you dream of having an elaborate garden but lack the time or means to make it happen straight away? Then why not begin by buying a book about gardening, one that inspires and excites your imagination? Even if all you can manage is one simple activity a week—or every two weeks—consider yourself successful. One hour of reading or one enjoyable walk at sunset is one more than you may have been enjoying before!
Take pleasure in anticipating favourable things. After all, anticipation is half the fun! If you're planning to sleep in on Saturday morning, why not think about upgrading it with a great breakfast in bed, good book or film, or a pile of interesting catalogues and magazines?
Enjoying life isn't dependent on luck. It involves making changes in your lifestyle, especially those that concern your mindset and behaviour. This can seem like an impossible thing to change, but by using the tips above and giving yourself permission to enjoy yourself, you’ll be well on your way to getting the most out of your life.