Identifying and treating sexual problems for women

An enjoyable sex life is a healthy and natural part of adulthood. However, most women have gone through periods of either losing desire or finding intercourse uncomfortable. 

There are many reasons for sexual problems - stress or lack of energy from leading packed lives are the most common causes. If sexual concerns are creating distress for you and your partner, one option is to seek help from your GP. Try not to feel embarrassed. Many successful therapies are available. 

Common sexual problems 

It is important to determine whether your sexual problems are of recent origin or whether they have always been present to some degree; this may help to identify potential causes that will, in turn, lead to the right solutions. Some common complaints are: 

• lack of desire or timing of desire 

• inability to achieve orgasm 

• discomfort or pain during intercourse 

Lack of desire 

Lack of desire is one of the most common sexual complaints in women and usually can be caused by several factors, including the following: 

Physical and emotional fatigue and loss of energy. It is usually a temporary problem that eases when stress is reduced. Try making dates with your partner for a night, a weekend or even just an afternoon away from home. Distance from family responsibilities can arouse sexual desire. 

Boredom. When you have been with your partner for a long time, sex may start to feel as though it lacks the excitement you require for arousal. A little creative thinking can be a great cure. 

Unresolved conflict with your partner. If you hold onto anger or resentment, you may find it difficult to become sexually aroused. Talk to your GP about a referral for therapy or marriage counselling. 

Medication or health conditions. Some of these can produce a side effect of reduced sexual desire. Discuss this with your GP. 

Never had desire. This can result from psychological problems involving guilt or anxiety, sometimes stemming from abuse. Talk to your GP if this is a concern for you. 

Inability to achieve orgasm 

Only about 25-30 percent of women reach orgasm during intercourse. Most women require additional stimulation. The following tips can help get you on the right track: 

Know your needs yourself. If you don’t know what you like, how can anyone else? 

Discuss it with your partner. It can be difficult but don’t hesitate to ask your partner what you need. 

Consider exploring. Try some different positions and sexual aids. This can also add some new fun and mystery to your sexual encounters. 

Medical conditions or medicines. Some can affect genital arousal. Discuss this with your GP if you suspect this may be true in your case. 

Menopause. Menopause may affect genital sensitivity. Hormone replacement therapy or alternative medicines can be helpful. Talk to your GP. 

Discomfort or Pain 

Always talk to your GP if sexual activity is causing discomfort or pain. Yeast or bladder infections, such as a small pelvis, can be at the root of discomfort. Menopause may result in decreased lubrication and vaginal dryness. Your GP may recommend a lubricating gel or medication. 

Sex is an integral part of a whole and prosperous life at all stages of adulthood. If something is preventing you from enjoying a fulfilling sex life, seek out further information or medical advice. You owe it to yourself. 

This information supplements the care provided by your GP or mental health professional and is not to be used as a substitute for professional medical advice. Always seek the advice of your GP or another qualified health or mental health professional if you have questions about a medical condition or treatment plan.