Top ten tips for remaining psychologically resilient

• Tip 1: Maintain social support
• Tip 2: Maintain a third place
• Tip 3: Get involved
• Tip 4: Keep a boundary between your personal and work life
• Tip 5: Know your early signs of stress
• Tip 6: Get physically active
• Tip 7: Practise deep breathing
• Tip 8: Reduce self-criticism
• Tip 9: Get organised
• Tip 10: Practise resilient thinking

Psychological resilience can be defined as the ability to cope with and manage stressors and to “bounce back” from stressful life events. It is vital to understand that resilience doesn’t mean being strong all the time and never experiencing stress. Resilience is about being aware of the psychological impact that stressors are having on you and consciously engaging in activities that help you manage and cope with them.

Major life events, whether they be personal (e.g., relocating for work or a death in the family) or on a societal level (e.g. war, disease, climate change) can stretch your resources, leaving you to adapt to ever-changing circumstances. Although you may not be able to change external circumstances, there are steps you can take that are within your control. Here are some tips to remain psychologically resilient when faced with things that you don’t have control over:

Tip 1: Maintain a social support network.

It’s much easier to be resilient in the face of work and life's challenges if you have a solid social support network. Talking about your feelings and having strong connections with your partner, family, friends, and co-workers helps you be more effective at facing life’s difficulties. It is important to make time for these people, and it is vital to have some meaningful connection to loved ones, even if you may not always feel like it. This could include something as simple as a phone call or going out to parties with friends. Technology has made it possible to maintain connections, even when loved ones aren’t nearby.

Tip 2: Maintain a third place.

A vital element of resilience is having a “third place.” This third place should be in addition to your home (first place) and your workplace (second place). Your third place(s) should be a physical environment where you go to relax, socialise, and/or engage in an interest/hobby. Examples of third places are your gym, local park, library, and so on. When under pressure, we have a natural tendency to spend too much time at work or at home, but it is important to spend time at our third place. The location—or locations—doesn’t matter, as long as you can relax and de-stress here.

Tip 3: Get involved.

It has often been noted that people who get involved in their community, such as through volunteerism, are more resilient than those who do not. By volunteering, a person has likely thought about what is important to them and then spends some time on this activity to feel a sense of purpose and involvement. This could be as simple as chaperoning your child’s field trip, or as demanding as serving as a board member for a local nonprofit. You don’t need to volunteer, but reflecting on which activities are essential to you and spending some time engaging in them can build resilience.

Tip 4: Keep a boundary between your personal and work life.

Pressures and problems can come from both your personal and work life. One key strategy for psychological resilience is to maintain a clear boundary between your work and personal life. You need techniques for “switching off” from work so it doesn’t impinge on your personal life.

There are a variety of methods for this, for example, by listening to calming music on your commute home or, if you work from home, by taking a short walk outdoors after powering down your laptop for the day. Don’t forget, it’s also important not to let personal problems affect your work. You may not be able to separate each one, but something as simple as keeping your work phone or computer off during family time can be a big help.

Tip 5: Know your early signs of stress.

Resilience is not about being strong all the time and never feeling pressure or stress. It’s about knowing when you start to feel stressed and using techniques to help you stay in control, e.g., deep breathing, exercise, and talking to family and friends about how you are feeling. To help with this, it is helpful to be aware of the early signs of stress. Early signs tend to occur in four areas:

Physical. Generally, more people show physical signs as they start to feel stressed. This can be headaches, neck and shoulder pain, or digestive problems.

Emotional. When under stress, people can feel angry, frustrated and/or have a low mood.

Cognitive. When under pressure, people tend not to think effectively, so they can become indecisive, forgetful, or find it difficult to concentrate.

Behaviour. Behaviour can change; people can lose their temper more frequently or have trouble sleeping.

Tip 6: Get physically active.

Physical health is closely connected to mental health, including psychological resilience. One crucial way to maintain your resilience is to stay active, including cardiovascular exercise, resistance training, and stretching.

The key is to find ways to add movement to each day, even in short bursts—for example, walking, yoga, cycling, or playing sports. Everyday activities like walking to the grocery store, taking the stairs, or doing chores around the house also have benefits. It is important to keep moving when you are feeling particularly stressed. Despite the exhaustion that sometimes comes with stress, continuing to do what you were doing before—perhaps even more—can be helpful. This is especially true when working from home or feeling stuck in the same place for long periods.

Tip 7: Practise deep breathing.

Deep breathing is one of the easiest relaxation techniques to master and one of the most effective in helping you remain calm and resilient. Slow, deep (diaphragmatic) breathing slows your heart rate, lowers blood pressure, and reduces muscle tension. Try this simple method:

• Sit comfortably in a chair with good posture and both feet flat on the floor.
• Close your eyes and place your left palm on your stomach and your right palm on your chest.
• Now breathe slowly in through the nose, and out through the nose without holding your breath at any point.
• Try to expand your stomach as you breathe in and contract it as you breathe out.
• Try to breathe so that only your left palm moves and not your right. Your chest and shoulders should not move as you breathe, only your stomach. Try to remain relaxed and concentrate on breathing slowly.
  
  

Tip 8: Reduce self-criticism.

One habit many people have that affects their resilience is being overly critical of themselves. Self-criticism often occurs as a voice in our head (sometimes called an internal monologue), which is essential to our thoughts, feelings, and behaviour. Something usually linked to self-criticism is our tendency to be overly critical of others as well. Being less critical of others and ourselves has been shown to boost resilience by reducing negative thoughts.

Tip 9: Get organised.

You may have many activities and tasks to keep track of—both at work and in your personal life. Managing all these tasks can be stressful. So, to be resilient, it is important to have an organisational system that helps you stay on top of things. Specifically, your organisational system should include two major elements, which allow you maintain your resilience:

Keep your to-dos “outside of your head.” In other words, you should not rely on your memory to trigger when you should do your actions. It is your organisational system, such as a calendar or a written to-do list, that reminds you when to do things. The less you rely on your memory, the better.

Prioritise your tasks. It is helpful to have a clear distinction between tasks which are urgent (that is time dependent and must be performed now, such as taking an important call); and those which are important but can be dealt with at your own pace.

Tip 10: Practise resilient thinking.

A vital element of resilience is perception—how you see and think about the challenges life throws your way. Resilient individuals tend to be good at keeping stressors in perspective so that they aren’t overwhelmed by them. Likewise, resilient individuals focus on problem-solving. To practise resilient thinking, focus on solutions, not problems and the feelings those problems generate. An analogy of resilient thinking that is often used is, ‘when you have fallen into a hole, your thinking should be about how to climb out of the hole, not how you fell into it or how unlucky you are to be in the hole’.

A beneficial way to maintain resilient thinking is to keep a Gratitude Journal. Every day, you should write in it the things in your life that you are grateful for. By engaging in this activity, you are training your mind to focus on positive things, which, in turn, helps you be more resilient.

In your busy life, it may not be possible to implement all these tips. But try to think creatively, and you may be able to combine two or more tips, such as playing tennis with your partner and/or your children. This will enable you to maintain your social support network, spend time on an activity that is important to you, and get some exercise.