Have you noticed how some people just seem to be more content than others, even though they have many of the same problems and challenges? Although what it means to be content varies from person to person and from culture to culture, all human beings have the capacity to experience it. Happiness, as an emotion, is often short lived. So, striving for a sense of wellbeing and contentment is a more achievable endeavor.
Tips and tools you can use
In the same way that our brains develop learning patterns, we can also train ourselves to experience gratitude, resilience, optimism, and meaning more easily.
Here are some tips to help you experience these feelings more readily:
- Every day write down three things that went well and why they went well.
- Plan a list of enjoyable things you would like to do more often. Schedule them into your calendar and commit to follow through with them.
- Make a list of people you enjoy spending time with and consider connecting with them more often. If some of these people are now far away from you, plan how you can be in touch with them more often or more effectively. In addition to texting, email and phone calls, consider whether occasional video chats would add more value to your communications.
- Consider your personal growth goals and make a commitment to ongoing learning and developing new skills.
- Accept your limits and adjust expectations on those days when your mood, energy, or motivation are lower than usual.
- Get physically active. Exercise releases endorphins, which leads to a sense of wellbeing. Whether it’s in a gym, on your own, indoors or outdoors, there are lots of ways to get active. Pick something you are most likely to enjoy and to commit to over time.
- Begin 'positive self-talk.' Talk to yourself like you would a good friend.
- Find meaning in your life, whether that is spending time with family, being part of a faith community, volunteering, or working toward a challenging goal.
- Set realistic goals. Start with one positive goal for each day that relates to your values. Think about what steps you can take to succeed and treat setbacks as solvable problems.
- Stay in the present. The hustle and bustle of daily life can make it hard to stay in the moment. Mindfulness can help you pause more often to appreciate your experiences as you go about your day. Simple steps like savoring your lunch without distraction, or taking a deep breath of fresh air, can add up and help you feel more balanced.
Being grateful
- Each day, write down a few things for which you are grateful.
- Try to not limit your thinking to the extreme terms, “never,” “always,” “everything,” and “nothing.” Look for the “shades of grey” in difficult situations to help balance your perspective. Encourage yourself to face your fears, even in small steps, especially if these are holding you back from doing what’s important to you.
- Try to appreciate the small things in your life. That could be a call from a friend, or how the sun feels on your skin.
- Identify a role model for yourself—alive, deceased, famous, not famous, real or fictional. Someone you admire and who seems to have achieved the goals or the attitude you strive for. When in doubt, ask yourself what your role model would do or say in the same circumstance.
The power of laughter
- Remember that, like exercise, laughter releases endorphins.
- Share humor and joy with others, such as family, friends, and coworkers.
- Broaden your horizons, try something new and don’t take it too seriously if you fail. It’s okay to sing off key, fall off your bike, or make a funny painting.
Time for yourself
Make time just for yourself every day, even if it’s just a few minutes. When it comes to taking time for you, it’s not always quantity that counts, but quality. There are many ways to create quality time including:
- praying, meditating, and reflecting
- guided imagery or visualizations
- gardening (indoor or outdoor)
- taking care of yourself physically, such as getting enough sleep, eating healthfully, and being physically active
- seeking a positive environment, such as being in nature, enjoying the company of good friends or listening to those who inspire you
- engaging in emotional self-care, such as preparing a favorite meal, getting a massage for weary muscles, or listening to music
Time for others
Keeping up relationships with people you care about is also important. Here are some ways to nurture your relationships:
- Recognize people as individuals, not just as part of a group or family.
- Meet with someone you haven't seen in a while, with whom you’ve been meaning to reconnect.
- Connect with an aging or ill relative or friend.
- Help someone by looking after their children so they have time to themselves.
- Contribute your time to a worthy cause.
Helping others often creates positive feelings and brings meaning to our lives. Building and maintaining meaningful relationships is important for emotional wellbeing. With little effort it is possible to experience more gratitude, resilience, optimism, meaning—and wellbeing—in our lives.