Caring when you work

Handling work and caring responsibilities is never easy. Worldwide, the number of carers is rising every year and carers often must balance work, family, and other responsibilities as well as their caring role. Explore the challenges that working carers might face and learn ways to help balance these important responsibilities.

Understanding and balancing responsibilities

If you are managing caring responsibilities as well as your regular employment, you may face questions and uncertainties. You may not know whether your relative or friend will recover from an illness or how much care you will have to provide down the road.

Despite these uncertainties, it's important to plan and explore the many sources of support available to you. This will allow you to do your best at work while knowing your older relative or friend is getting the best possible care.

Caring for a loved one—a common experience

Here are some facts:
More than 250 million people around the world are carers with an over 13 million in the UK alone. For a list of statistics per country, see this map by the International Alliance of Carer Organizations (IACO).

Women predominantly take on the caring role. Worldwide, it is estimated between 57% to 81% of all carers of the elderly are women, according to a study published by the NCBI. Cultural differences play a role in this to varying degrees across the globe.

Many young people are carers. Although the average age for caring is age 50 to 64, many carers are in their 20s or 30s. And the demand on young people for this role is growing as the population of older adults increases.

The realities of being a working carer

Most people underestimate how much time they will spend as carers. Looking after yourself and getting your own needs met in life is difficult enough without having to take care of other people. You may not realise how many hours you are putting into caring for a relative, but the hours will add up. For one week, write down the hours you spend caring, and see if it matches the amount of time you thought you were putting in. It will give you clarity and choice over how you best plan your time.

Caring affects physical and mental health. Studies show that carers experience higher levels of depressive symptoms and stress than non-carers. Carers also have reported worsening physical health ranging from complaints such as headaches to increased risk of heart disease.

Keeping these realities in mind can help you plan for the challenges you may face as a working carer. For example, because so many people underestimate how much time they will spend as carers, you may need to develop a short- and a long-term plan for combining work and caring.

Juggling your many responsibilities

One of your biggest tasks as a carer who works is finding a way to manage your work and caring responsibilities so that you can give your best to both. Here are some tips:

Set priorities. Identify the caring tasks that are most important and schedule time for them in your calendar. Don't wait until a crisis occurs to decide which commitments you can reduce or eliminate, because you may not be thinking as clearly then.

Learn to delegate. Even if you can meet all your relative's needs on your own, you'll provide better care if you take breaks from your responsibilities. Delegating some of the tasks of caring will help you avoid burnout and maintain the energy you need to meet all your responsibilities. It will ease the resentment that comes from taking on too much and will enhance the relationship with the person you are caring for and the rest of the family.

Develop a system for meeting your relative's needs. Consider making a list of your relative's needs (such as visits, doctors' appointments, and help with shopping). Include the times when they occur and spaces for people to sign up to help with them. Copy the list and send it to everyone who might be able to help. Or create a password-protected website that people can check regularly to learn about your relative's needs and help them decide how they can help. (Note: Keep in mind you may need to check with those who help you with your caring responsibilities to make sure they're not sick as your relative or friend may be at increased risk of severe illness. Consider asking visitors to wear a mask for the safety of your relatives.)

Keep good records. Set up a system to organise papers related to your relative's care—for example, transport, adult day care, bills, and various legal documents—so you'll always be able to find what you need. You can use folders, an accordion file, or a three-ring binder and make sure you have a dedicated notebook to write down information and keep track of your relative’s medical history, current medical conditions, and medication to give to the health care provider or emergency medical personnel if needed. Write down any questions you have of medical professionals as your time with them will be limited.

Plan for emergencies. It may take weeks or even months for appointments with professionals, such as health care providers or solicitors. If your relative's doctor has said that they may soon need to see a specialist, call now to find out the waiting times and make an appointment. And keep in mind that planning includes knowing your relative's end-of-life decisions. Encourage your relative to complete such documents as a living will and a durable power of attorney for both medical and financial decisions, and a will.

Get ideas from other working carers. Talk to them about your challenges and how they could resolve them. You may also get helpful ideas from Carers UK.

Find out what kind of support your employer offers for carers. Your employer may offer benefits that would make it easier for you to juggle your work and caring needs, such as flexible working or job-sharing. Avoid waiting until a crisis occurs to ask about these, so you'll have enough time to think about which might work best for you. Talk to your manager or human resources (HR) representative to find out about resources available to you through work.

Discussing with your manager

Your employer's support is vital to managing your work and caring. A conversation with your manager can help you find solutions to your caring challenges. If that doesn’t feel comfortable, begin by talking to your HR department.

Have the conversation straight away if your caring has started to affect your work or you feel it will soon. It's essential to discuss with your manager if your caring tasks have caused you to miss a deadline, come in late or leave early, or if those tasks have affected your ability to meet an important responsibility at work. Your manager may know of helpful resources offered by your employer or be able to adjust your responsibilities so that all the work gets done on time.

Be aware that you don't have to share personal or medical details. Tell your manager only as much as you feel comfortable sharing. If your mother has a life-threatening condition that you'd prefer not to discuss, it's fine to say just that she has a serious illness that may require you to sometimes miss work.

Be clear about what you think you will need to meet your responsibilities at work. Take time to think about this before you discuss it with your manager. Will you need to come in late or leave early at times? Would it make sense to try a flexible work arrangement for a few months? Or could you meet your responsibilities if a colleague or temporary replacement took over some duties? Could you do your job from home temporarily?

Be upfront. Avoid making promises that may be impossible to keep. If you're unsure of being able to meet a deadline or attend an important meeting, say so.
Talk about what to tell your colleagues about the situation. If you have concerns about your privacy, discuss them with your manager so that the two of you can plan what to say to others about your caring responsibilities.

Keep your manager informed of changes that may affect your ability to meet all your responsibilities. Let them know promptly if the situation changes so that they can make any needed adjustments to the plan you've worked out for getting the work done.

Taking care of yourself

Balancing life, work, and caring is a challenge that can affect your own health and wellbeing. You'll be able to provide better care if you take good care of yourself as well.

Here are some guidelines that may help you make your own health a priority:

Maintain your usual good health routines. Eat a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and get seven to nine hours of sleep every night to maintain your energy.

Use annual leave to recharge. Think of your time off as a break not just from work, but, if possible, from caring.

Look into respite care. Respite care gives you a temporary break from caring responsibilities. Some long-term care facilities provide overnight respite care for limited periods of time. You could also arrange for a relative to provide respite care for a shorter period, such as a few hours each weekend while you visit a park or have lunch with a friend. Learn more about respite care at Carers UK.

Check your rights at work. Read more at GOV.UK to see if you can get a period of time off work to deal with an emergency involving a dependent. If you are unsure, speak to your manager or human resources (HR) department for information about your contract.  

Contact the assistance programme. The assistance programme has additional resources on managing stress, finding local services, dealing with housing, staying on top of health issues, and coping with job-related issues you may face as a working carer.