Relationship restructuring: Love, family, and financial stress

Economic cuts, job loss, and financial stress can strain important family relationships. Read on to explore the impact financial challenges can have on relationships and discover ways to keep these bonds strong during times of financial change. 

Money and your partner

Even in the best of times, money is one of the most common sources of tension in a relationship. However, during periods of economic uncertainty, financial stress can cause things to take a turn for the worse if it’s not discussed openly.

Set aside a scheduled time on a consistent basis to sit down and discuss your financial situation with your partner. This may not be easy, as it could be one of the toughest times to discuss finances. Creating an “appointment” gives this important part of your relationship legitimacy, and it encourages both of you to think more deeply about your finances—where you are now, where you want to go, and how you’re feeling. Booking a time allows you both to prepare and helps avoid arguments that can arise from impulsive and unexpected discussions that start because of strong emotions. 

If your partner has recently lost their job, try to stay calm. While you may be upset, fearful, or angry about the situation, your partner probably feels those emotions just as strongly—or even more so. A strong reaction on your part will only put greater pressure on an already stressful situation. If you’re the one who lost a job due to downsizing, you may feel uncomfortable relying on your partner to cover the bills when you’re used to contributing or being financially self-sufficient.

In both cases, it’s vital to remain flexible: roles, responsibilities, and who pays for what may need to change temporarily as you work together to deal with a job loss. The two of you can create an action plan to get through this challenge. This can involve budgeting, scaling back and job hunting. 

Romance in a recession

Romance can easily be overlooked as each person becomes increasingly preoccupied with bills, extra work, and job hunts. 

Stress and anxiety are known to affect intimacy, making it harder for couples to connect emotionally and physically. Intimacy not only strengthens relationships but also helps reduce stress and boost mood.

Reconnecting as a couple can help your relationship stay strong during difficult times—and it doesn’t have to be costly either. Staying in to cook a meal together, snuggling up to a movie at home, or even going for a post-dinner stroll are all ways to keep “we time” on track.

Children and cutting back

If your financial situation has recently changed, or uncertainty is swirling around, cutting back on your kids’ expenses—whether it’s extra activities, new clothing, or video games—may be a reality you’re facing. 

While discussing these changes with your children may feel challenging (even embarrassing for many parents), it’s also a great opportunity to teach them financial lessons about living within your means. It’s a chance for your family to rediscover and appreciate experiences that aren’t as dependent on finances, such as being active together (e.g., walking through your local area) or helping others (e.g., volunteering).

Ensure the level of conversation you have is geared to the child’s age. If you have teenagers, for example, you can be more open about the financial challenges you’re facing and the need for everyone to work together—either by cutting back or perhaps encouraging older teens to work part-time to pay for the "extras.” While you can let young children know you aren’t able to afford certain luxuries, avoid unloading your stress—and potentially scaring your kids—with too many details.

Listen to your children and try to be empathetic with their concerns, even if you feel as though it might be “selfish” at times. Complaining about not having the latest phone or game could be their way of expressing stress about the changes they are experiencing or fitting in with their peers. What makes kids well-adjusted, positive individuals is your attention, love, and support—luxuries parents can afford to give. 

Financial hardship strains family relationships, particularly when you’re struggling with basic expenses like food and bills. Open, honest communication about these challenges—while staying flexible together—can help your family build resilience and maintain strong bonds during even the toughest times.

If you or your family members are feeling especially overwhelmed with any of these challenges, consider reaching out to a mental health professional for added support.