As you experience ups and downs at work, being aware of your emotions — naming them and managing them in a healthy, consistent way — is a vital skill that will help you succeed in a professional environment. Here are some tips:
Watch your body language. Research has shown that when people are trying to read someone's mood, they rely heavily on that person's body language for cues. Posture, gestures, and facial expressions send important signals to others. For example, avoid tense, tight body postures or negative gestures like rolling your eyes. Try to avoid imitating someone's negative body language when you want to send a positive message. Being too close to someone else could be seen as aggressive, even if you don’t mean to be.
Pay attention to the tone of your communications. Remember that you convey how you're feeling not only in person but also on the phone and in your written communications, including email and instant messaging. Make sure you convey the message you intended.
Ask for feedback. If you meant to sound upbeat at a meeting, get feedback from trusted colleagues on how you came across. Ask open-ended questions that will reduce the possibility that they will say only what they think you want to hear. For example, try asking, “What do you think worked especially well in my presentation? Was there anything specific you think I could have improved?”
Try to connect with people in positive, constructive ways. Start by assuming that your team members and others are trying to do their best and compliment them on specific things they are doing well.
Be careful about communicating when you are overwhelmed by emotion. In very frustrating situations, take the time to collect your thoughts. If possible, make notes for a future conversation and then return to them when you're feeling calmer and better able to communicate. Taking some time to do a mindfulness practice or meditation may help you feel less overwhelmed.
Take steps to keep your moods from affecting your judgement. According to series of experiments done by Maurice E. Schweitzer and Jennifer Dunn of the Wharton School, a mood can affect your judgement even after it seems to have passed. You may want to take extra steps if you've been experiencing strong emotions, such as making some decisions until a calmer day or asking for more input from others before making important decisions.
Understand the unwritten rules of your work culture. In some organisations, it's okay for managers to show that they're in a bad mood within limits—for example, by "venting" about a frustration as long as customers and clients can't hear. In other organisations, it's almost never okay to do this. If you're uncertain about what's appropriate, talk to your manager or human resources (HR) department.
Keep an eye on the "group mood" and dynamics of your team. The mood of a team holds clues to its wellbeing. If everyone in your group seems to be in a bad mood, there may be a work-related problem you need to resolve, such as a staffing or systems issue. Similarly, if there is more conflict or disagreement happening within your team, having an open an honest conversation about the cause of the change may be warranted.
Be appropriately cheerful. Avoid putting on falsely happy airs if your organisation is going through a very difficult time that includes layoffs or a steep loss of business. Insincerity can foster cynicism instead of trust. Instead, acknowledge the challenges your group is facing. Strive for a mood that's both authentic and positive.
Managing your moods doesn't mean denying that emotional reactions are important. It means becoming more aware of your moods so that you can respond to them in the ways that will have the most benefit for you, your team, and your organisation.