Workplace dynamics can be complex—we regularly interact with leaders, colleagues, within and between departments, and often across cultures and time zones. Given this complexity, we’re often required to adjust the way we communicate and interact with people, which can be challenging at times. Therefore, it’s not surprising that we may sometimes be misunderstood or have miscommunications along the way.
Why are we caught off guard when we discover that we've offended someone or overstepped our boundaries? Probably because practising effective communication requires a lot of exactly that—practice. Consider the following tips when you want to avoid unnecessary conflict and improve your relationships at work:
Not all colleague relationships have an established context. Keep in mind that you probably don't know what kind of pressure the other person is under before you press too hard for action or a response.
Think about the way you phrase a question or an answer before you communicate it. Ask yourself if it's respectful, if the timing is right, or if what you want to share will add value to the conversation.
Choose an appropriate method of communication. Face-to-face, a phone call, or video chat is most effective for urgent or challenging issues, whereas email can be used for matters that are not time-sensitive or may benefit from being documented in writing.
Offer constructive feedback, not criticism. Make constructive points that keep things focused, relevant, and positive. For example, if offering feedback on a report, you could say, “Would you be able to add more detail on this point?” as opposed to “This definitely needs work.”
Be open to receiving honest feedback. Feedback goes both ways. If you’ve received comments you’re not happy with, consider them areas of growth. Communicate that you'll aim to be open and supportive when considering the points of view of colleagues or managers.
It’s normal for conflict to arise in the workplace from time to time. It's okay to acknowledge when feelings are running high. Being able to regulate your emotions is essential for effective conflict resolution. If anger and frustration are clouding your judgement, take a step back from the situation to breathe and ground yourself. When you’re ready, you can let the person know what's on your mind in a constructive way. Use the following sentence as a guide and fill in the blanks:
“I feel ________ when ________ happens because ________. In the future, could you_______?”
Consider this example:
I feel anxious when I don’t get updates on your part of the project, because these deadlines are important. In the future, can we check in about progress at the beginning of each week?
This way, you take responsibility for your feelings (rather than blaming someone else), and the other person gets clarity on the things that are troubling you and what you may be asking of them.
If conflict persists despite your best efforts, particularly where harassment or discrimination is concerned, it may be necessary to involve your manager or HR. If conflict is making you anxious, reluctant to go to work, or even fearful for your job, involve your manager, HR, and consider contacting a counsellor for additional support in effectively dealing with conflict.